


Only One Hot Person in the World, Help

by TroubleIWant



Series: Shelter In Place 2020: Old drafts resurrection [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Humor, Asexuality is cool but it's not what's going on here, Demi Derek, Demisexuality, Light Angst, M/M, Misunderstandings, discovering your sexuality, fumbling towards labels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23334529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TroubleIWant/pseuds/TroubleIWant
Summary: Derek isn't sure what it means that he doesn't feel that sexual spark with anyone, but he knows he isn't interested in kissing Stiles Stilinski... Or is he?- OR -Stiles and Derek’s first kiss was, inarguably, a huge disappointment for everyone involved.“Uh,” Stiles said afterwards, still too close. Derek, unmoved by the moment, just glowered at him.Right before it happened they’d been researching Alpha powers together and it had been going really nicely, Derek had thought. Easy and companionable. Derek had mostly let his guard down around Stiles, even started thinking of him as a friend. Only now Stiles had ruined it by going and doing this, giving him a kiss. It was a confusing and unwanted advance. Derek wasn’t attracted to Stiles. He wasn’t attracted to anybody.
Relationships: Brief recollection of past Derek Hale/Kate Argent, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Even briefer Derek Hale / Paige
Series: Shelter In Place 2020: Old drafts resurrection [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678111
Comments: 78
Kudos: 912





	Only One Hot Person in the World, Help

**Author's Note:**

  * For [iwillshutup](https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwillshutup/gifts).



> My gosh, aren't people nice? Many moons ago I said I wasn't planning to write Sterek anymore, and that's technically still true. However, here is an old fic draft that I have resurrected and polished up because of a VERY nice comment someone left me on my last fic (Aaaay, IWillShutUp, lookin' at you), and because, well, quarantine. 
> 
> The following story features some light angst, a little humor, and a healthy dose of Derek misunderstanding things about himself and others. Also, not a ton of proofreading. I hope that I've handled the bits about the asexual spectrum well, but want to give folks a heads up that Derek originally and incorrectly believes that he's asexual before settling on demisexual as a better label; this is not meant as a commentary on the value of either orientation! That said... Enjoy!

* * *

Stiles and Derek’s first kiss was, inarguably, a huge disappointment for everyone involved.

“Uh,” Stiles said afterwards, still too close. Derek, unmoved by the moment, just glowered at him.

Right before it happened they’d been researching Alpha powers together and it had been going really nicely, Derek had thought. Easy and companionable. Derek had mostly let his guard down around Stiles, even started thinking of him as a friend. Only now Stiles had ruined it by going and doing  _ this _ , giving him a  _ kiss _ . 

It was a confusing and unwanted advance. Derek wasn’t attracted to Stiles. He wasn’t attracted to  _ anybody _ . All Derek had done was turn around and Stiles had been right there in his space, leaning in close, eyes dark and hopeful and then blurry as he got closer than where Derek could focus and pressed their mouths together.

“Look, I’m…” Derek started, unsure what to say. He didn’t want to yell at Stiles, who already looked mortified, but he couldn’t help feeling disappointed that this had happened at all. Why would Stiles try to kiss him, when they’d been hanging out so companionably moments before? He hated how this type of thing always came out of left field for him. It was confusing, he never knew how to react.

“Just…” Derek tried again.

“No, yeah, sorry,” Stiles blurted, nonsensically. “Will  _ not _ happen again. Don’t even worry about it.” He buried his nose back in the text he’d been reading, and that was that.

So, for the next six months, Derek didn’t worry about it. 

* * *

_Six months later_

“I don’t  _ care _ about dating,” Derek growled, flattening the complicated whorls of conflicting desires into a straightforward sentence that was close enough to truthful. “It’s awkward and time consuming and I never feel a… a  _ spark _ with the people you set me up with. Any of them. I don’t want to be in a relationship, I’m happy already. So can we just drop it?”

“But you want to get laid, don’t you?” Erica insisted, brow furrowed. They’d got him cornered in the loft, Cora, Boyd, Erica, Isaac, Stiles and even Scott. Now that Deucalion and his crew had been rebuffed, the Pack’s biggest problem was apparently Derek’s lack of a sex life. Having Cora around only made it worse; she encouraged them to think of him as a person rather than an authority figure. Terrible.

“Actually, I don’t care if I get laid,” Derek said. He spread his hands and raised his eyebrows, giving an exaggerated show of exactly how many fucks he gave about getting it on: Zero. His expression dared them to make an issue out of it.

None of the teens quite knew what to do with his reaction, apparently. They could tell from his heartbeat he wasn’t lying, but at the same time, everything in their worldview assured them he must be. Derek knew the drill. How could someone who looked like him not have sex for literally years and not  _ care _ ?

Only Stiles looked something other than baffled. He looked...  _ thoughtful _ . Derek wasn’t sure he liked that. Having Stiles examining him like a puzzle made him hyper-aware that what he’d said just now wasn’t the full truth, either. If anyone could dig the messy details out of him, it would be Stiles.

“Dude, d’you think you might be asexual?” Stiles blurted out, catching everyone by surprise.

* * *

Derek made the rookie mistake of asking what “being ace” even meant, so of course they ended up googling it. Stiles got that smirky excited look he always wore when he had the opportunity for his favorite hobby: vomiting new information at an unsuspecting soul. Just saying what it meant wouldn’t have done the trick, oh no, they needed two articles, eight blog posts and a multiple choice quiz. Stiles and Derek were still hunched over the laptop reading long past the point when the rest of the pack had gotten bored and left.

What Derek learned was that “being ace” meant not wanting sex the way most people did. Not caring about it one way or the other, or even actively wanting to not have it. All the first person accounts sounded... Familiar, actually. Right. Quite a few things from his past fell into place.

He’d had an inkling that his paradigm of desire was weird since he was young. Most people who knew him assumed that his hangups all originated with Kate, and honestly Derek himself liked to pretend that was the case. But it wasn’t. He’d already been different at thirteen when his friends on the basketball team started to chatter about this actress and that singer, and how she was so hot, those lips, that  _ ass _ , yeah, they wanted to do her, bad. Derek had found it all pretty irritating. 

He did learn how to say the right words, after a few awkward tries. But he always seemed to be missing some key element as to why it was interesting to talk about in the first place. Natalie Portman was aesthetically pleasing and all, but none of them knew her personally. How could Camden say he wanted to sleep with her? Was he lying perhaps, or at least exaggerating? Derek had briefly entertained the idea that he might be gay, but Brad Pitt didn’t spark that instant horniness, either.

Then the other boys started dating actual girls at school, mostly cheerleaders who shot them blushing, giggly glances at halftime. They went to dances together, and dates. At the dances, Derek watched pairs writhing to bass-heavy top-40 hits, or swaying together to awful love songs that his teammates would never listen to anywhere else. They barely even talked, but apparently they fucked later on the dates. It was bizarre.

It was also a required right of passage. Enter Paige. She was objectively cute, and she seemed smart and funny. She also seemed like she’d never give him the time of day or actually want to kiss, which was a comforting bonus. Derek figured he could talk about her the way the other boys talked about their own crushes and he’d seem normal. 

Shockingly, it didn’t work out that way. Not only did Paige know his name, she wanted to go out with him, He’d wound up with a girlfriend after all. He wasn’t particularly attracted to her, he didn’t think, but he’d done his best to go through all the expected steps. Go in for the kiss, check; make out in dark corners, check; nuzzle into her soft breasts, squeeze her ass, check. It wasn’t as if it was a chore, she was really nice. Derek convinced himself the other boys were hamming up the intensity of their pants feelings. This mild interest was as good as it got, he figured.

And then Paige was dead. 

And then there was Kate.

“Sooo…” Stiles drawled leadingly. “Is any of this kind of sounding like you, or what?”

Derek came out of his reverie and looked at the page in front of him again. “When you say you’re… horny for a celebrity,” he asked haltingly, “you mean it? You’d really be excited to sleep with them?” He turned to Stiles, almost squirming with the vulnerability of the question. Weren’t you supposed to just know these things? Why didn’t Derek?

“Like, if Orlando Bloom appeared in my living room and offered to suck my dick, would I be into that?” Stiles asked, afirming again the bisexual awakening he had vocally experienced last summer, right before their kiss. It had been a topic of much conversation, and Derek paused to wonder if researching that had prompted Stiles to unearth all this stuff about asexuality, too.

“Yes,” Derek said softly. “Would you really want to… do that?”

Stiles looked at him for a beat and said, “yes.”

“Just, you  _ really _ mean that if some good-looking guy showed up one day, gets on his knees and opens his mouth… that’s attractive? You’re into that?”

Stiles kept looking at Derek, adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. Derek could hear his pulse starting to go a little faster. “ _ Yes _ .”

Derek sat back and tried to digest this. In this imaginary scenario, he’d feel a little embarrassed for Mr. Bloom, maybe try to get him something to eat. There’s no chance that he’d accept the blow job, much less be excited for it. He can’t imagine a single person who he’d be excited to let suck him off. “Huh.”

“So, you’re honest-to-God asexual,” Stiles confirmed, half excitement at solving the puzzleedand half something more sour.

Derek bristled. “I’m not a fucking anemone, I don’t reproduce by budding.”

Stiles laughed, but pleasantly. The odd edge of resentment from before had been whisked away as if it never existed. “Okay, then. Ace?”

“Ace,” Derek said again, trying it out. Ace like a high card, ace like a hotshot pilot, like number one. It wasn’t not such a bad word. “Yeah, I’m ace.”

* * *

Stiles helped him explain to the pack, and suddenly Derek’s long-standing plea that they not set him up with strangers was respected. It was like a magic trick: “I’m ace,” he said, and his lack of desire was understood. It was good to have a word for what he felt, to be assured that he wasn’t the only person who didn’t want sex with any good looking Tom, Dick or Sally. That he wasn’t alone in this. 

On the other hand, having sexual desire officially cordoned off as an impossibility didn’t exactly come with the joyous freedom that some of Stiles’ blogs described. Was all his wistful regret at never having a boyfriend or girlfriend he’d want to fuck mere social conditioning? He had always imagined himself being partnered in the distant happy future, were those dreams built on assumptions and never truly his own? Secretly, despite his embrace of the ace label, he wanted to wanted sex. Or, to want it again.

That was the part that didn’t fit, of course. He had felt sexual desire before - God help him - and despite the horrors that followed, he  _ missed _ it. For that one stupid summer he’d felt the way he was supposed to, understood every smutty pop song and loaded conversation. He’d felt that for Kate. Kate, who was still, inevitably, forever ruining his life even from beyond the grave. 

He’d known her before he dated Page, strangely enough. They hadn’t been very close, but she’d worked at the Beacon Hills library when they needed a hand. When she was there, Derek would exchange pleasantries with her while he checked out a new book or movie. After Page’s death, when Derek felt less than welcome in his old friend groups ( _ do you know, _ he could hear them whisper, too quiet for a human to hear but loud enough for a wolf,  _ 90% of the time it’s the boyfriend who did it. _ ) he’d spent more time in the library, and more time with Kate.

It had seemed natural how she always had time for him, how they shared the same taste in books, movies, music, everything. Hell, she even agreed with him about which sports teams to root for. She’d encouraged him to talk about Paige’s death, and seemed oh so sympathetic. Of course he knows now it had been an act, but at the time she’d been a friend when nobody else would look him in the eye. He’d respected her judgement, trusted her, enjoyed her company. And at some point, during the summer when her wardrobe dropped down to tank-tops and shorts, he had realized that he wanted her. He’d wanted her, finally, in the way people had described.

Sex with Kate had been pressing and immediate like it hadn’t been with Page. He’d finally known what to do with his hands - he’d wanted to touch her. To be touched. It had seemed to him then, seventeen and finally awakened to sexual desire, like her body had fixed him. Her beauty had made him normal in a way he hadn’t even been sure he wanted until it was right there, feeling so inevitably perfect. Daydreams of having her had taken up every waking thought. He had been defenseless against it, not inured the way his peers had been after years of pining for celebrities. And then…

And then.

* * *

Everything was fine. Derek did like having the label, even if it could feel limiting. He liked the confidence it gave him in turning down advances, and in being happy with his celibate life. He slowly got used to the idea of never experiencing desire again, figured it was on balance acceptable that Kate had taken that from him, too. If you thought about it, it wasn’t as if enjoying sex was half as valuable as all the other things she’d destroyed.

He read more about ace relationships, both with other asexual people and with people who did experience desire. Stiles always had a new article for him. Or three. 

Being with another ace person seemed like something that could work out, Derek thought. On the other hand, the first time he considered dating someone allosexual he felt preemptive guilt for failing to respond to his imaginary boy-or-girlfriend’s attraction. Stiles aggressively talked him out of that. Derek hesitantly accepted the premise that he didn’t owe anyone sex, even in a relationship. In his own mind, he held onto the fact that he wasn’t sex repulsed. He could go through the motions, if it was important to his partner, even enjoy the sensations in the right circumstances. In sum, his newfound ace identity wasn’t any kind of a problem.

Until it was a huge problem. 

He and Stiles had been hanging out more often ever since he'd classified himself as ace, partially due to all Derek’s questions and partially because it was just… fun. Derek wondered if it was also that now Stiles understood Derek’s awkward response to their kiss wasn’t a rejection of Stiles the person. He hoped so. Stiles was kind (under all the snark, that is), funny, and objectively good looking. He deserved to feel wanted by whoever he kissed next.

It was a massive relief after so many years of pretending to be able to honestly discuss his sexuality with Stiles. Dreek felt totally at ease asking vulnerable questions, which was new and exciting territory. He'd always enjoyed Stiles’ sense of humor and off-kilter opinions, and this new, closer friendship between them meant he got plenty of both. It was good. Great, maybe. Derek found himself thinking of Stiles at the most random times, texting constantly, losing hours when they hung out.

And then one day Stiles was chewing on a pen and Derek couldn’t look away. His mouth was all bitten red and slick with spit, and Derek swallowed and flushed and oh. Oh.  _ Oh _ . 

It got worse from there. It was like Kate, but infinitely more intense. Derek went so far as to avoid Stiles at pack events, just so the other wolves didn’t smell the arousal on him. He wasn’t supposed to want this anymore. Right? He had only just found a way to think about his desire, or rather his lack of desire, and it had made so much sense… and now he suddenly didn’t understand  _ anything _ anymore. And he couldn't very well ask Stiles, the way he would about literally any other hang up about his sexuality 

So, humiliatingly enough, Derek found himself in front of a computer, blankly staring at the Google search bar. He couldn’t work out what he should type. 

“Only one hot person in the world, help”? 

“Want to fuck Stiles Stilinski exclusively”? 

“Asexual except my best friend”? 

He settled for “asexual but attracted to one person.”

He read the first result, and then the second. He scrolled through comment threads, the articles, the dictionary entries. When he looked up, it was almost one in the morning, but he finally had a label that felt like it fit him all the way. 

* * *

“I'm actually not ace,” Derek finally blurted out the next day. Stiles was over at his place, hanging out and eating pizza. 

Stiles blinked up at him in surprise, finished swallowing the bite of Papa John’s, and said, “Uh, no? It seemed like a good fit. What made you chance your mind?”

Derek opened his mouth, and realized quickly that he couldn’t tell him what the real tip-off was. Instead, he cut right to the chase. “I think I'm demi.” 

Stiles raised his eyebrows and Derek winced. It was a dumb, special snowflake orientation, wasn’t it? Why couldn’t even one thing about him be easy? 

“Oh wow, I didn’t even think of that. Sweet! You like, did your research,” Stiles said, overly impressed. Derek frowned, and Stiles waved his hands in apology, laughing a little. “Okay, you can use Google too. But how did you know to… Oh. Right, there's a person who uh… made you realize.”

“Yep,” Derek confirmed shortly.

Stiles forced a smile. “Man, you look so bummed. But this is good!” Derek raised his eyebrows at the lie, but Stiles didn’t realize that he’d been caught, and took the expression for disbelief. He barreled on. “I mean that it’s great that you’re learning more about yourself, not that like, demi is better than ace. And you already have someone in mind. That’s… neat.” Another skip of his heartbeat. “Are you gonna, you know tell them?”

“I don't know,” Derek gritted out. The words sounded exactly as pained as his decision-making attempts had been: Very. 

“You should,” Stiles said, decisive as always. A sad, sulky smell wafted off of him, but those emotions were nowhere to be found in his voice or expression.

“It's awkward,” Derek said softly. He was hesitant to open up, but he knew he needed to. Even with his newfound desire for Stiles, his head wasn’t wrecked enough to miss that the person right in front of him was the one he trusted most.

“What, because it's a friend? C’mon. You feel comfortable with them, right? That’s the whole reason why you’re attracted to them. It’s okay to trust yourself. They’re not gonna try to hurt you. You can tell this person how you feel, and even if it doesn’t work out, you’re not gonna get your heart stomped on.” Stiles smiled. “Well, maybe a little, but only the normal amount for any rejection. Look, if it goes south I’ll buy you a pint of vanilla and we can watch Never Been Kissed.”

“Thanks, Stiles.” Derek remembered how dismissively he had rejected Stiles’ kiss so long ago. He felt awful, then hopeful that Stiles had been interested, and finally he came to rest on an unpleasant thought: Stiles wasn’t demi. Yeah, he’d wanted to kiss Derek back then, and maybe he would sleep with Derek today. But Stiles might do it the way he’d sleep with anyone good looking enough. Derek didn’t want just sex. 

“You deserve to be happy,” Stiles said, misunderstanding the silence.

“I don't want to ruin the friendship,” Derek blurted out. “I don't know how to do this.” 

Stiles smirked at him, but affectionately. “You big goober. Just ask ‘em to get coffee, classic date, no way they’ll miss the cue. It’ll be easy, I swear. If they don't go for you, they’re an idiot.” His fond smile went a bit sad, and in the end that was enough for Derek to make the leap.

“Okay,” he said, half to himself, and took a deep breath. “You wanna get coffee?” 

Stiles shrugged. “Yeah sure, I could use some caffeine.” 

He made it all the way to the loft door before Derek incredulously asked, “Stiles?” 

Finally, Stiles connected the dots… and promptly tripped over his own feet. He whirled back around to face Derek. “Wait. Get coffee, like  _ get coffee _ ? With  _ me _ ?” 

Derek raised both his eyebrows. 

“Oh man!” Stiles blurted, grinning like he had just won something big. “Oh, wow. Yeah! Just let me, uh,” the words flowing out of him tumbled to a stop, and he ran his hands through his hair. “Are you serious? Me?”

“Yeah. Though I might be regretting it a bit, now.” Derek was aiming for gruff irritation, but found he didn’t mind it coming out helplessly fond. “Look a little more self satisfied, why don’t you?” 

“You wanna just skip coffee, actually?” Stiles asked, voice faint, eyes focused on Derek’s mouth.

Derek nodded dumbly, still a bit in shock that he got to have this, that he got to be  _ happy _ .

Their second kiss went a hell of a lot better than the first. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading, leaving kudos (?) and commenting (???) because all of that is basically what I live on. If you really loved the story, consider telling your friends about it or following me on [Tumblr](http://troubleiwant.tumblr.com/) for more fics, ficlets, fanart, flailing and general Sterek-y shenanigans.
> 
> If folks are still into this pairing and excited, there's one or two other fics I might pull out of ye olde draft pile. Stay safe and healthy everyone!


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